Music is like a heartbeat within me, and it’s been that way for as long as I can remember.
Back in 1982, when the Band of the Scot Guards swung by my school, it felt like destiny knocking on my door. I got the amazing chance to perform alongside them, and from that moment on, I knew I wanted to be part of the military band scene.
So, in 1983, at just 15 years old, I jumped at the opportunity to audition for the army band. It was the start of a thrilling adventure that took me to Bridge of Don Barracks in Aberdeen for training. Amidst the hustle and bustle of barracks life, I also came to terms with my own identity, navigating the ups and downs of being gay in a world where being yourself always felt like an uphill battle.
Fast forward to 1985, and I found myself stationed in Berlin with the Royal Highland Fusiliers, ready to kickstart my career as a bandsman. It was exciting, but also a bit nerve-wracking, especially with the warnings from some of the more seasoned band members about the challenges of being openly gay.
Then came 1987, a year that brought both highs and lows. The regiment moved back to Edinburgh, and I was thrilled to be part of the preparations for the Military Tattoo. But things took a sharp turn when an unfortunate revenge incident exposed my sexual orientation to the military police, leading to a series of tough times and eventually, dismissal from the army.
Looking back, I can’t help but wonder about the paths not taken.
What if things had been different? What if I’d had the chance to enjoy the camaraderie, the security, and maybe even a promotion or two within the army band? It’s a bittersweet thought, especially considering the changes in the law that came later, offering possibilities I never got to explore.
Through it all, though, there have been bright spots. In 2015, I married my wonderful husband, Jim, and together, we’ve built a life filled with love and happiness. Sure, there have been tough times, moments when the memories of my army days hit me hard, but Jim’s always been there to support me through it all.
And let’s not forget the amazing experiences I’ve had along the way – from performing at the Edinburgh and Berlin Tattoos to rubbing elbows with royalty and exploring far-off lands like Germany, Italy, and Kenya. Those are memories I’ll always hold dear, reminders of the incredible journey I’ve been on.
So, while my time in the army may have come to an unexpected end, the music still plays on in my heart, a constant reminder of the passion and joy it’s brought into my life.
