I took a non-traditional route into the RAF.
Badly injured as a civilian police officer after nine years’ service, I lost my confidence. Seeking a new career, and simultaneously exiting a failing marriage, I joined the RAF Police in 1988.
Doubting my fitness, I had a 2-week physical assessment at RAF Hedley Court before commencing basic training at RAF Swinderby. Thereafter, to RAF St Athan and RAF Newton, where I was awarded the RAF Police Baton of Honour.
I was posted to Strike Command at RAF High Wycombe. Attached to a small police flight, our main duty was the protection of the new, Primary War HQ and UK Regional Air Operations Command.
Being an advanced police driver, I offered advanced driving training courses to civilians and service personnel on base in my free time. This proved popular and led to a tour of UK bases, sponsored by Volvo, presenting a safe driving course. In 1990 I was awarded a personal commendation for services to the RAF as part of the New Year’s Honours List.
All of this in the shadow of heavy personal turmoil and a dawning realisation that I tried to ignore, that I was gay.
I hid it well. But on a fateful night on a terrified visit to a bar in London, I met my life partner. Colin and I met over a beer, 35 years together this year!
My journey into desperation, the pressure of living a lie to family and the service I loved caught up with me and I had a breakdown. I confessed to the Station Medical Officer and within hours was in front of the Station Commander I had only recently trained to pass his advanced driving test. “I have no idea why I must do this. I’m only losing a good man.”
Colin and I went through an unpleasant and nowadays wholly illegal interview by P&SS. He was a civilian, but he still had to go through this. I was required to leave “due to circumstances outwith his control.”
I didn’t think it had much impact on me. I did take part in the formation of “Rank Outsiders” but decided life was too short and went on to enjoy a successful civilian aviation career. I joined 3 Sqn Tactical Provost Wing, a reservist unit, for a short time, until work overseas called me away. The Sqn Ldr of that unit said, “Welcome back. We got it wrong the first time, that won’t happen again.”
I said I didn’t think any of this had much impact on me, but as a founding member of “Fighting With Pride”, I was reduced to tears when we were “permitted” as gay veterans to March past the cenotaph for the first time in 2021.
On telling my story for the independent review I asked Colin to read my account. “What do you mean, ‘you weren’t really affected?’. Your hair turned grey overnight.” I never knew. 35 years and I never knew.
